How to Urinate Without Touching the Toilet

Public bathrooms can be pretty scary. Especially if you are in one that is not regularly (or ever) cleaned, you can be frantically trying to figure out a way to take care of business without having to touch the toilet seat. However, everyone has to urinate, and we often do not get to chose the specifics of where. Your best bet is to either learn ways to avoid touching that toilet seat altogether or become savvy about how to keep it as clean as possible.

Method 1 - Avoiding the Surface

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→ Buy a funnel. Women have long been searching for ways to avoid touching the toilet. It hardly seems fair that men can stand when you have to sit, right? Fortunately, the marketplace has responded to women's needs. There are now funnel-like devices for sale that allow women the ease of standing while urinating. When you're shopping, look for what is known as a Female Urinary Device.

→ You'll want to shop around. There are many FUD's available, and most are pretty affordable. Pick the style and size that's right for you. For example, if you plan to transport the FUD frequently, try picking a smaller option. Don't worry if you don't love it--there are others you can try!

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→ Hover above the toilet. Most women have tried the squat/hover method, and most would agree--you need tips on how to do it better. For the least messy results, try placing your feet fairly wide apart (think wider than hip-width). This will create a steady base. Then hover towards the seat while leaning slightly forward.

→ Many women find it useful to try to balance their hands or elbows on your thighs while leaning forward to prevent wobbling.

→ Strengthen your thighs. The stronger your legs, the easier the squat will be for you. Try doing multiple reps of strengthening exercises with light weights. Think squats and lunges. Yet another benefit of hitting the gym!

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→ Be aware of what you're wearing. Some outfits are simply easier to manage when faced with a dirty public restroom. Ideally, you'd always be wearing a skirt with no underwear when faced with the need to hover, but that's not reality. If you're wearing something more complicated, such as a jumper, you'll need to take extra precautions.

→ After you've rolled down the top of your jumper, focus on the bottom. Gather up the wide legs of your outfit in your hand to avoid them dragging on the floor. Then, slowly back up in hover position until you are over the toilet.

→ Other troublesome garments include shorts and pants. Practice lowering these only as far as absolutely necessary so that they avoid dragging on the ground. You'll also want to practice balancing with your shorts around your knees.

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→ Rely on automatic devices. Technology can be your best friend in a dirty bathroom. Many public toilets are not only equipped with automatic flushing devices, but with automatic clean seat covers. Seek out restrooms with these upgrades. The less surfaces you have to touch, the better you will feel about the situation.

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→ Rest easy. Although they look horrifying, public toilets actually present a much lower health risk than many people realize. In reality, your odds of catching a disease or infection from a toilet seat are incredibly low. You are much more likely to become ill from bacteria living on the sponges in your kitchen. So don't worry too much if you haven't managed to perfect your squat!

Method 2 - Covering the Surface

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→ Plan ahead. Of course you'd love to just not have to deal with bathroom germs, but that is not realistic. Instead, plan your bathroom breaks to coincide with being near the cleanest possible area. If you're on a road trip, scope out gas stations that have a great reputation for being clean. Use social media and travel websites that post a lot of reviews to help with your research.

→ Also, wear clothes that are easy to manage. Loose fitting clothing that is easy to manipulate is your best bet.

→ You can also plan ahead by thinking about how to navigate the room or stall while touching as few surfaces as possible. For example, touch up your make-up in the car. Then you will have to spend less time in the restroom, and will therefore touch fewer surfaces.

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→ Create a barrier. If you don't want to either squat or touch the seat, you need a barrier. Utilize the paper liners that are in many public restrooms, taking care to flush them when you're done. If a liner is not available, you can line the seat with fresh toilet paper to protect your tush.

→ Try traveling with your own supply of paper liners. Small travel packs are often available at convenience stores, and can eliminate a lot of your problems.

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→ Use toilet paper to flush. The handle of the toilet is actually one of the filthiest parts of any bathroom. Often it can be tempting to use your foot to flush. Resist this urge! This can actually cause mechanical issues, which could result in you getting some backsplash from the toilet. Instead, use a piece of toilet paper and use your hand to flush.

TIPS

→ Wash those hands!

→ You may find that the way intended for your opposite gender works better for you.

→ Be polite. Portable toilets are probably one of the most dreaded situations for people who try to avoid the toilet germs. One of the reasons these porta-potties are particularly gross is that people use them as trash cans. Many of the germs actually come from food, diapers, etc. thrown into the hole! So set a good example, and don't do that. Always use proper bathroom etiquette--and common sense.

Warnings

→ Squatting can cause problems for females; urinary tract infections may happen. Squatting is not advised; lean instead.